Why revise?

So I had a page back in high school.

I use to write A LOT back then.

You know, being a teen and blowing off some steam.

Parents, friends, boys, school, drama, grades, life….. whatever.

One day I hope I can find my old blog.

I use to call it “The Scandalous LifeStyle”.

Maybe watched too much Sex in the City growing up.

I always thought of myself wanting to get into something.

Trouble. Not much of it but enough for life to be interesting.

I think I bit the bullet with that one.

But instead of scandalous…. where everyone is talking about it….

It became more like – “The Overwhelming LifeStyle”.

Jokes aside, I still would like to think that life needs a little bit of spice to it.

No matter how old we are….

And so, I got older.

I grew up.

My definition of a scandalous lifestyle is different now.

And I use the term scandalous loosely…. not in it’s full serious form.

Just something that is fun and makes people go -“why would she do that?”

I don’t like most traditional things. I hate being put into a box. Certain stereotypes are frustrating (especially female ones), and a multitude of other things that just get under my skin.

I just like people to do things differently. To be unique. Clever. That’s all.

So why am I revising?

Well….

I guess this is my turning of the page.

And as much as society frowns upon saying positive things about ourselves…. I’d like to say a few things in spite of that.

Ooh how scandalous…. as I roll my eyes.

Does this make me selfish and full of myself for pointing out the great qualities I have?

No.

Cause believe me, I am the first to also bash myself with the negative things I need to work on.

Well let me tell you. I already know that…. we are humans. We are incredibly selfish and look out for only our own interests usually.

Any philosopher can tell you that……But I am kicking and screaming – hoping there is still some good left out there.

Maybe just because we have not crossed paths just yet, doesn’t mean it isn’t there.

I’d like to think our society isn’t totally fucked.

I revise because that’s part of growing up. I am still myself in it’s entirety…. but I am a better version of it now.

I can live that scandalous…. exciting…. go with the flow…. “I change my mind a million times”…. lifestyle.

I once read a post from this female body builder “BadassCass” wrote something along the lines of….

“Don’t let them silence you. Don’t be afraid to be too “this” or too “that”. Why? Because then they round out all the edges… and then you loose your edge. You are no longer unique.”

That being said, I think the thing people tell me more than anything is that I act like such a know it all.

Which I’m not denying! I mean, obviously plenty of people have told me this before.

However, when I am silently a “know it all” somehow things tend to usually happen the way I thought they would. Strange. But when I say something with emphasis or giving any suggestion that I may know what the outcome will be – without it even happening yet…. I am, indeed, a know it all.

Funny how that works.

I know I can be a little overbearing.

I really push my strong qualities sometimes unintentionally. And talk about myself… or justify myself a lot for whatever reason….. (maybe because my parents never listened to me and I feel like people don’t listen to me much either).

This might come off as narcissitic.

However, I am not narcissistic. I have flaws and I can be a healthy amount of self conscious at times.

But yes, I am indeed a know it all.

I’ll own up to it.

But I wonder if I should be ashamed?

Per that great explanation of smoothing out the edges…. is this one I should smooth?

Maybe not.

I know that I have learned to gauge situations better with age.

I try not to push my ‘know it all’ attitude.

And if I am wrong? Well, I most certainly AM wrong and own up to that too.

Overall, as long as it doesn’t get to your head ( aka my head ) being a know it all isn’t that bad.

Especially because I have seen and experienced a lot in my life. A LOT.

I have also tackled, handled, twisted and turned a lot of complicated situations.

And more than anything – I have FAILED at a lot of things which have led me to know better.

That’s all.

Through my wonderful degree in failure I think I can justify my “know-it-all-ness”.

Either way, I think people just need to be more kind.

So you meet a person with a bold and robust personality who has some kinks? So what. Let them be. Let them shine and be themselves.

If they go out of line and need to be brought down to earth…. I get it….put them in place – but do so gently like Tibetan monks do with all the unenlightened.

Be graceful.

(Yes a “know it all” can be a kind/gentle know it all….. kinda like your mother.)

And that’s how I try to live my life in regards to other people.

I get bashed on a lot.

In high school I got teased a lot too.

It’s crazy to think how far I have come as a person.

As does anyone.

I like to revise every so often.

But still be true – be scandalous at heart 🙂

By definition to revise is to re-read work done previously to improve one’s knowledge of a subject.

We should revise our lives likewise. In order to improve our knowledge of ourselves and life in it’s entirety.

And with each personal revision, I find a happier and better version of myself.