The central idea: “What if addiction is leaning too hard in one direction?”
That’s a genuinely strong thesis. It gives the piece shape instead of it being just breakup sadness.
- The comparison between:
- alcohol, work, validation, chaos, closeness
- This line is excellent: “I have learned the opposite real well: how to continue choosing someone my whole life. But this… is the period of my life lesson where I have to continue choosing to not have someone in my life.” That’s the emotional core of the piece.
- “We’ll always have Ventura” is cinematic and grounded at the same time. That’s very you stylistically.
What I think you’re really circling around
I actually don’t think your “addiction” is closeness itself.
I think it’s:
hoping closeness can finally resolve abandonment, inconsistency, or emotional distance permanently.
Which is different.
Because closeness itself is healthy. Humans absolutely need it.
But when closeness becomes:
- proof you’re safe
- proof someone won’t leave
- proof you’re finally fully chosen
…then every rupture feels catastrophic.
And your writing already understands this subconsciously.
You keep returning to:
- inconsistency
- partial closeness
- almost-love
- interrupted safety
- people who wanted to love fully but couldn’t sustain it
Scandalous Lifestyle, Revised 