One door opens, another one SLAMS SHUT, RIGHT IN YOUR FACE.

I’m sure we have all felt this way at one point or the other.

“Life? If you can hear me……if such higher powers exist…..Why…. Why, oh, why do you keep TESTING ME ALL THE TIME?”

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Makes me twist, and turn, and shake like someone experiencing a gnarly exorcism at times.

But seriously, in all reality can life for real cut me a break?

It’s one thing, right after another.

My mom dies.

I quit my job of six years.

My long time boyfriend and I break up.

I get two completely new jobs. One in a totally new industry.

I sleep on an awful blow up mattress in an empty apartment for 5 months.

….My back is probably still fucked from that.

I set a goal to move to California Summer 2018.

Closer to the month I want to leave, I get excited. Tell some folks at work.

Go on vacation for an extended weekend to Myrtle Beach.

Come back with my boss barking at me and asking how my vacation was. Then he instantly lets me go knowing I have to move in the next few months.

……Says it’s company policy if they know someone will be leaving.

What happened to a courtesy two weeks? I have to give you one….? But you can just let me go like that?

Shit man.

The other job treats me like garbage till my last day. I scrape what I can for this mega big, life changing move across the country.

I do the immensely long drive to the west coast. How that went fairly smooth? (minus my credit card taking a serious dent)…. I really dunno.

Takes me 2 months to get a job. Thank goodness for longtime family friends who were being so generous with letting me stay. (6 months later I am still here). UGH!

Anyway, I get a job at a resort. Beautiful place. I have THE best schedule ever but I don’t make too much money either.

Bummer.

In the meantime while trying to find a better job, I explore, surf, and play with my dog on my free time.

Eventually my recruiter finds me a day job!!! WOO.

Even more so the promise of a creative job! I get to design furniture from the early concept phases to the final concept! How cool!?

LIES.

All lies.

I basically sit behind a desk all day and code SKU numbers for various furniture combos to go on their eCommerce site.

This is where I realize working 9-5 is so miserable.

They even wanted me to put in more hours than 9-5 too. It was an awful job with no room for growth. Just more mindless busy work to do.

To think I once wanted a 9-5……. I’ll pass now.

Then the massive fires in Malibu, Thousand Oaks, Oxnard, Newbury Park and Simi break out.

Pretty much fires everywhere.

It was bad.

I woke up that Friday morning with lots of road closures and crazy traffic alerts. The fire in our area was only a few miles away from the house and I refused to leave my child with four paws home alone.

So I call out of work. The woman I live with advised that this would be the right choice.

I agree.

Work says that’s fine. I called ahead and explained what was going on.

It’s totally fine……

WRONG!

I recruiter calls me later that afternoon asking why I did not show up for work.

She understands and sympathies but says I got fired.

Said I was not the “right fit”.

Damn right! I was miserable! The “right fit” would be a fucking monkey staring at Excel spreadsheets doing number combinations and configurations all day. Not me.

I don’t know how I lasted there one month.

Longest month of my life somehow…..

It’s Thanksgiving. I go back to the east coast to see mama’s grave and I thought I would be nice to see some friends…..

Turned out no one cared I was back.

Lovely.

I’m in the Denver airport on a layover on the way back from my trip.

My recruiter said she got another job for me. Starts tomorrow 9am.

Something along the lines of event planning for holiday parties at this big cooperate company.

Sure – I need a job. Why not? It’s 8pm in Denver but whatever I’ll be at work tomorrow 9am. I can do this.

Turns out the job is amazing…..buuuuuut I am a temp employee. So who knows how long they will keep me.

I’d like to stay for good, I really would.

Everyone is so nice.

We get free food every Friday and massages every Wednesday.

I like my desk.

I like the view.

I like my boss.

I like my job.

I really like my job.

…….and although I hate 9-5….. I can get use to it.

I want to make everything work out.

Just in case, I looked for a weekend job bartending.

I ended up getting one fairly quickly.

I explain I have a Monday through Friday 9-5 job as well.

They schedule me 10pm-3am on Fridays and Saturdays.

It’s a high volume bar in Downtown Ventura.

SCORE! I somehow get primo shifts as a new girl? Yeah-Yuh!

It works so great with my schedule. I think I can now get my own place!

I manage to find some decently priced apartments…. Rent is so expensive in LA solo….needed a roommate or else I would die on my own probably. Nothing was at all affordable. I would not get approved for sure.

I find a roomie. The guy seems excited and we set boundaries. Start talking serious.

I send him some links. He sends some back.

I make plans to tour some places……

He goes MIA.

Few weeks later says he can’t be my roommate.

DAMN IT.

One step at a time……

Another week goes by…..

I manage to find another roommate though a friend. He has a complex.

A very nice luxury apartment complex. Kind of what I left back east.

Never in my wildest dreams did I think moving to Cali I would have a nice place to live at for at least a few years. But here it was…dangling over my head.

No way it could be true….

I’m still skeptical. We’re supposed to move in mid February. (We’ll see how this goes.)

I start making spreadsheets and over the top budget plans that I learned from my previous management experience.

The job I worked at for six years.

I guess some skills came in handy?

Numbers are starting to look good between my two jobs and his killer discount on the apartment he gets through his company.

No way things are working out finally…..

No. Friggin. Way.

I call my best friend. I’m sitting in the car watching the rain for the 4th day straight. Things are happening man….. can I finally relax and go on autopilot?

I think so.

NOPE!

MOTHER FUCKER. Face to the palm.

My boss from the bar calls me and says that they loved me, I am super nice, blah blah blah….. however, “I am not the right fit”.

WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!

Is that like some code word employer use when they don’t know what else to say? Are they short on payroll? Do they just want to free up some space? Is it something personal??? WHAT IS IT? Like what do you mean?

UGH.

Says I can pick up my last check whenever.

Now I have exactly one month to find a new bar job.

And here…..we……go……

When one door closes another door opens.

But when you keep going in and out of doors every few weeks….. the doors really starts to slam in your face…….

Geeze……

Cut me a break already.

This next door I hope is wide open…. and then I’m going to lock myself inside and swallow the key.

I’d say all in all, this girl is just really tired of set backs and having to always improvise.

My tombstone would probably say, “I’ll figure it out somehow.”

Really looking forward to the day I can just be on autopilot.

One month to make it just centimeters away from where I need to be.

Now if the stars could just align right…..

To be continued……..